Tuesday, 4 February 2014

M.E. - Why do I have to use Walking Aids?!

Good morning! (very early morning)

It's 01:39am and I'm straight off to bed after I've typed this.

So how's today gone? Very well actually...

Very well as in I've stuck to my routine well and got my tasks done, fatigue wise I haven't lay down all day so I shouldn't have much of a problem getting to sleep (hopefully not anyway) though my pains aren't great today. Well, they are great depending on which way you look at it! I had to take painkillers this evening for the 1st time in a while as they got to the point where I didn't the dog to sit on my knee the pains were that bad. Also, despite not being overly physically tired, my eyes were extremely sore this evening to the point where I couldn't open them for a bit. No blurred vision either... anyone experience anything similar?

Anyway... I think the pains in my legs today have been brought on by a couple of things... 1st of all I didn't have my mid afternoon nap and when I don't have that my pains tend to be worse throughout the day. Also, I've done more walking around the house than I usually would, needless trips up and down stairs which take their toll on me without me realizing until afterwards!

I'm still on crutches/walking stick whenever I leave the house - the pains kick in worse if I walk anything over a few minutes (they're always there but they get worse the more I walk). I do think to myself "How long will I be using these walking aids for?", "When will I know when to stop using them?" "I get the impression others feel I shouldn't be using them at all!". These are the thoughts running through my head every time I pick up my walking stick or my crutch(es).

It's got to the point where I feel embarrassed when I go to pick up my stick. I instinctively try to hide it when meeting people I don't know to save any explaining or the dreaded question "What have you done to your leg?"

What is it a "friend" said to me recently? "I can't believe that the NHS pay for that". I gave him the benefit of the doubt because he'd had alcohol but if these are the thoughts of people I'm spending time with then what on earth are people I don't know going to think?! And by the way, the NHS DOES NOT fund my walking aids for me, I DO! I've never really liked him anyway...

When you're ill you can dwell on odd narrow minded comments like that but who's fault is it really? It's all down to a lack of knowledge and a lack of understanding.

Anyway, that's my rant done with for today!

See you all tomorrow x


  1. Hi Barry. Sorry to hear you have this horrid old ME thing. I do too.

    Like you I have limited mobility. I am fine in the house, but use a mobility scooter outside. Hard to get my head round at first, but I actually found that getting it allows me to walk the dogs every day - get up some SPEED, and to feel the wind in my face. For me these things are liberating.

    I use it out and about too, but find that easiest amongst either complete strangers or with good friends who've seen me on it often before. Toughest thing is meeting old friends for the first time again since I've become so disabled. I'm sure you understand.

    I also use a Fitbit to measure my steps, and that way have mostly managed to avoid pain and relapses. It tells me that I rarely take more than 50 paces (slowly) in one go, and also that I average only 600 paces a day now. www.fitbit.com

    I too keep a blog (somewhat erratically) check out sallyjustme.blogspot.co.uk

    Best wishes. Sally

    1. Hi again Sally! ;)

      Always good to get some fresh air, I think I need more!

      I can totally relate to the meeting old friends bit... The funny looks and awkward questions. However nice they may be you still feel inside they're thinking something different.

      Sounds good, I shall take a look at fitbit :)

      Thanks for the link. :)