Wednesday, 27 August 2014


Hello all, so here's the offer I was telling you about!
Considering my book hasn't had any real marketing, it's done pretty well so thank you to those who have bought it.
However, I'd like to raise even more awareness and raise more money for "Invest in ME".
I've decided that for 7 days, both paperback and kindle copies will be cheaper. Not only that, but ALL money made from sales during this period will to go "Invest in ME".
After the 7 days, I will round up the total raised to the nearest "0" and post it on here. I will also screenshot the screen when I make the donation.
I will post again when this offer starts and post around the M.E. groups on here and also on Twitter.
It is available in ALL countries too but here I will post links for the UK & US Amazon:
UK Paperback - £3.94
UK Kindle - £1.85
US Paperback - $6.55
US Kindle - $3.07
Lastly, share this post and tag people who you think would be interested.

Thank you everyone. The 7 days starts now so the offer ends this time next Tuesday (2nd September)!

Sunday, 24 August 2014

ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Hello all, although this isn't M.E. related, I've decided to make this post because it's important to support all illnesses/conditions. It's also very light hearted but raising awareness for a good cause.

I think there should be something similar for M.E. but not necessarily using ice buckets as although I didn't feel it at the time, I now have a banging headache and blurred vision. I'm actually in bed before 10pm with my electric blanket on full!!!

Here's the video:

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

M.E. - Wise thoughts with a Chronic Illness.

Ok... I'm in the blogging mood!

Today, I will be talking about occupying the mind. This helps a lot when suffering with a Chronic Illness but the phrase can also contradict itself when relating it to a Chronic Illness.

When every limb is screaming out with pain and every single muscle is just too fatigued to keep up with what your brain is telling you to do, it can be incredibly hard not to fall into some sort of depression.

I've suffered with depression in the past to the point where I wanted to end my life, luckily I was unsuccessful in my attempt but I learned a lot from it. It took me a good few years after that to actually learn from it however.

At just 23 years old, I feel very wise and mature for my age, probably why the majority of my friends are a lot older than me. I don't feel my age. Sure, I can have a good laugh and share things in common with others my age, but I feel I'm more on a wave length with older people. That's why relationship wise I've always been more interested in dating someone up to 20 years older than myself as opposed to someone my own age. Age is just a number at the end of the day. With all these illnesses striking us unexpectedly, surely age is the last thing we should be worrying about?

Anyway, I was saying I have learned a lot from my experience with depression and the link with occupying the mind. There was always a pattern that when my mind was occupied, my depression decreased ever so slightly. Finding new hobbies, even speaking to the right people helped incredibly well. I feel aiming towards goals are vital too whether long-term or short-term.

With M.E., it can be very hard to occupy our minds when we are so limited and so fatigued/energy-less. In myself I have felt better the past few weeks but health wise I've really taken a knock for it because I haven't given myself time to catch up with myself and dwell. When we dwell, we tend to attract negative thoughts... thoughts about the future/personal relationships/health etc etc. I've been hurt a lot in the past by selfish people, whether they be friends/professionals or partners. Dwelling on these bad experiences has previously been my down side. I've been led on, treated like dirt, not taken seriously and at 23 years old, I'm at a stage where I've started to think about myself more for my own benefit. These bullies made me into an incredibly shy/insecure person and I've gradually worked my way up to contentment so why on earth would I let negative influences affect my life?

God's opinion is the only one that matters, he has big plans for me and already I am starting to see some of them unravel before my very eyes. Many have said I cope so well with the illness which is a huge compliment, but that's how God has worked. I read bits of scripture and pray throughout the day that keep me ticking. I'm not "brainwashed" or "unrealistic" by any means, I just have a firm belief which in effect gives me reason to keep going... I know there are better times ahead.

Relating back to short-term and long-term goals, I have lots. M.E. has helped me to discover things I would never have discovered before... what I mean by that is if I didn't have M.E., I would never have explored things that I've found... I'm accepting the illness but I'm working around it. I know people who give in to the illness and I know people that won't accept it, neither ends positively. You need to find that balance which luckily I feel I have. Sure, I'm positive about a full recovery but I'm not waiting around until it happens. For the time being, I'm working around it. My goals... well, I've discovered a love for music... singing! I had never sung anything before I had M.E. and to be honest, I find it hard to keep up as it requires more energy than you think. But it's there for me to keep going back to and I have a teacher to help me work towards my grades. The same goes for playing the keyboard though it hasn't been touched much recently to be completely honest. Theology, I enrolled on an online theology course a year ago, I've only completed 1 module but it's gradual progress, again... it's something I can dip in and out of. There's also the website name I purchased for my personal training plans, it's a gradual process... I'm continually experimenting with exercise too which is going fairly well.

The short of this post is to not let others control your mind! You are in control of what you do and think. Occupy your mind if negative thoughts start to drift in and you'll reap the benefits. Be wise! :)

And... to finish off... here's my lovely boy, Smokey who kept me company after my hospital visit yesterday!

Hope you're all enjoying yourselves x

Monday, 18 August 2014

M.E. - A Work in Progress!

Hello everyone... I'm back... updating my blogs!

I thought I'd keep you all updated with what's been going on...

A few weeks ago I had my worst time ever with M.E. - it was a weekend, mainly Saturday and everywhere was so painful, I could barely move the whole day... couldn't physically go beyond slow motion, I must've lay down at least 20 hours that day... I'd been fairly busy and could see a definitive pattern. It's moments like these when you know it's not in your mind and it's moments like these that reaffirms you that there is something definitely wrong. It's times like these when you wish your family/friends/doctors etc could see how badly affected you really are...

Anyway, I had a pretty good week a couple of weeks later, kept my mind occupied. I try to refrain from falling into the trap of doing absolutely nothing (although not always possible) as my mind wanders. That's when negative thoughts kick in. Thinking about things like your current situation, current relationships and what the future holds... others thoughts!

Spending more time away from the computer definitely helps, I like to go out for coffees as it caters for a change of scenery... somewhere I can park outside without having to walk very far at all. My leg pains now go worse even after a few yards... I had a day out recently and didn't do overly much but was out for a fair bit... I was walking like a snail by the end of it... I couldn't physically move any quicker, my legs were giving up on me...

I'm very pleased to have published my book of course, that was a great achievement for me. I've had very good support and very nice comments about it too. Also, I've made new friends though I'm finding keeping up with messages a little difficult! I wish I could talk to everyone but it's not always possible... especially when you have so little energy.

My next project... a project that will take months and months is my personal training website. I've mentioned it before but gradually I'm collecting bits of information and coming up with new ideas for it. I'm also experimenting with very little exercise and a good diet, I've made decent progress so far considering how little I'm actually doing but again, it's a long project and my goal will probably take at least a year to reach. My body fat has rocketed up since I've had M.E. and I've not got the same muscle mass I once had... I'm a work in progress!

I've purchased a laptop, I'm going to store all my documents and information for the website on there. I'm going to store things like my book manuscript so it's for business really. I can also start taking it to coffee shops which will be good for me.

Singing... it's still a work in progress and I'm improving gradually, obviously I can't practice an awful lot but I'm working towards my grade 2 at the end of the year.

Lastly... WRAG (work-related assessment group)... urgh... they're trying to force me into voluntary work... firstly they wanted me to do a half hour train ride (plus 10 minute walk) then a full day of "motivational course"... and of course the travel back and also to and from the station... and also they wanted me to do this twice a week!!! They accepted it was too much for me in the end but the very thought is exhausting... they're now trying to push me to do 1 day a week fixing clocks for 4 hours! I can't even stay up that long and on the rare occasion I do, the payback is pretty intense. They have no idea. I've had letters from the hospital where I'm having therapy and WRAG just won't accept them... they're great letters explaining thoroughly my limitations but still they don't listen!

Anyway, that's what I've been up to!

Thanks for reading...

Keep on fighting!

Barry x