Movember post for Invest In ME

Hello everyone!

First of all I’d like to thank Jo Best for asking me to contribute to this months Movember for Invest In ME. Second of all I’ve always struggled with growing a beard so mine would look pretty much the same after 4-5 weeks of growing! So I thought I’d share a recent pic of when I let it grow long (for me).

I’d like to now share my story of my journey with this terrible illness. I was previously a very active person who enjoyed all sorts of sports varying from football to wrestling to ice skating, I’ve always been very ambitious setting high targets for myself.

I’d never heard of ME before the summer of 2012. My friend at the time had this illness which I’d never heard of, in fact I didn’t know she had it until I started meeting up with her. I began to ask her questions out of curiosity and because I always try to show empathy towards others. she starting describing her symptoms and it made me stop and think, I instantly knew that this was what I could be suffering with. Throughout my studying years I always struggled with fatigue. I would need to sleep during the day as well as night, my concentration levels were non-existent however hard I tried and there was always discomfort in my muscles which I never took any notice of. I’d been to the doctors many times about these things but every time I was turned away made to feel like a hypochondriac. A lot of it was either put down to my diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome or depression which I’d struggled with after leaving high school. However, I always knew that it was something more than that.

After I had graduated university in 2012 I went straight to a personal training academy for 6 weeks. In the midst of this I had been to the doctor and she agreed to refer me to a consultant at the Liverpool Royal Hospital. I was exhausted by this point but in the back of my mind I thought I would be ok as I’d managed to cope with fatigue for many years, plus I didn’t want to lose for money I’d paid to enrol on the course. I went ahead with it and very quickly I knew it wasn’t the right thing for me. I really struggled with the practical side of the assessments despite having been a gym goer since the age of 14. The discomfort in my muscles increased each day and it got to the point where I couldn’t do any aerobic activity without a lot of pain. The theory side of the course was incredibly difficult too, my concentration levels were deteriorating by the day but I persisted with it. It all felt like a massive coincidence and that it was probably a phase that would pass.

I started working as a Personal Trainer very shortly after my course and only lasted for 3 weeks. I had to go into hospital as my leg pains had gotten to the point where I couldn’t function properly because it was so overpowering. A few days later I was taken back in with gastroenteritis where I had to stay in hospital overnight, I’d lost a lot of weight and blood and never returned to work after this.

That was at the end of 2012. We’re now at the end of 2015 and I haven’t been able to work for the past 3 years. My ME has gone from mild to moderate and I’m at the point where I feel lucky if I have 2-3 good days a week, by this I mean the average chilled out day of a “normal” person with nothing too strenuous. Some weeks I’m only able to get 1 shower and some week I spend the majority of my time in bed. I attend Cognitive Behavioural Therapy at Broad Green hospital for a couple of years though there's only so much it can do. I was recently discharged and I've not long had my first session at a local pain clinic.

I could go on for hours about my daily struggles but then I know the majority of people reading this will be going through very similar things. I’m 24 and day by day it feels like my hopes are fading away. However, I know that life won’t always be like this and I (try to) remain positive about the future. Smiling hasn’t always been a strong trait of mine but I’ve been told it’s infectious so here it is…

During the last 3 years there are positives to be taken from it. I discovered a new hobby in singing which I wouldn’t have found without this diagnosis. I’m currently working towards my grade 3 and slowly but surely I’ll get there. On and off for long periods I’ve been studying theology which is a big personal interest for me as my faith has kept me going through these difficult times. I’ve also managed to write a couple of books about my experiences to try and help others. I’m not the best writer in the world and I can’t see myself ever making a career out of it but it’s been a very positive thing for me and I’ve met some amazing people through it. My first book “A New ME” has raised £175 for this charity which I’m very proud of. I also have a blog which I update when I can which focuses on my journey: http://barrysme.blogspot.co.uk

I support this charity because they a lot of amazing work which focuses on the 3 areas: biomedical research, education and lobbying. I think these 3 key areas are essential in changing the publics general opinion of this illness. I’ve always been impressed by their work and I try to do what I can to help the cause.Finally, I forgot to mention that I’m a massive lover of animals and in particular RATS of which I have 18! (luckily I don’t have the job of cleaning them out)

Thanks for reading and if you'd like to check out the charity then click here: http://www.investinme.org/about.htm

Barry x

Frazzled mind (can't think of a title other than... an update?!)

Hello everyone!!!

It's been a while since I've updated this blog so I'll do it now before my mind completely shuts down... The online support I get is a real blessing as it's a totally different story in the real world so I like to keep in touch with as many people as I can but it's sometimes hard... I've spent the past half hour or so responding to messages from back to last Saturday as I just haven't had the energy to do so before now. My mind is frazzled (I think that's a proper word). You get the gist anyway so I'll try to make as good sense as I can with what I say now...

SOCIAL

It was during April that I last updated the blog and a few things have happened since. If I remember correctly, last time I posted there was quite a lot going on and everything seemed to be going wrong for me. The situation with the person I feel strongly for is no different. I don't expect us to be in contact again and it's become easier over the past few months but I can't help how I feel... especially considering I'd had those feelings for 3 years. I'm feeling more isolated now really, but I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I am partly to blame for that. Talking about friends in general now... if you asked me if I'd like to be back in contact with a lot of the people who I've lost touch with then the answer would be no. I felt trapped in a way with so many negative influences around me that I didn't enjoy meeting up anymore. I think other sufferers can read in between the lines here without me coming across as a little tactless. So that pretty much covers the social side of things...

Since April, I've had my new book published about my journey with Asperger Syndrome. I've shared it about on social media but I've really not had the energy to do lots of researching what magazines I should be contacting etc. It's still something I need to do, it seems a bit of a blur actually.




DOWNLOAD

Anyway, let me explain what happened the other night. I'm still feeling the effects now and some of you will have noticed that I've been very quiet these past few days. Download Festival at Donnington Park has been and gone this past week.... I was dropped my brother off as he desperately wanted to go. It was 2 hours plus drive either way and I would never entertain the thought of driving for that long but the reason I did it was for the reason given above. My mum had also agreed to take him but she's not safe on motorways and has never been on one on her own. Practice makes perfect but she shouldn't have been doing that journey, that's the bottom line. I would have been worrying all night if I hadn't gone in case anything bad had happened. So... I ended up doing the WHOLE journey bar 5 minutes before we arrived at our destination. My mum took over for 5 minutes and nearly crashed so I had to take to the wheel again. I wasn't happy but I wasn't going to let her continue driving either, she didn't want to after that anyway. So... after a bit of going back and forth and not sure what was happening, my brother was dropped off and me and my mum were on our way back home. Soon after we'd set off back home the engine light had appeared on the dashboard. There was obviously something wrong so I pulled up in the hard shoulder and opened up the bonnet. I was nearly falling over due to the cars driving past at very high speeds. I came to the conclusion that the engine was overheated so I filled up the coolant cap with some water as I thought that would cool it. After over 30 minutes the light was still there and I decided to just risk it and go to the nearest services. After a while at services the light was still on but I decided to keep driving as I had no breakdown cover and didn't want to pay for them to come out. The same thing happened after the 2nd services and so I started driving again... this time I was so tired I was swerving off the motorway into the hard shoulder. I got flashed so had to stop again. Anyway... after 3 service stops and a trip to the garage it somehow ended up that we got back home at 9:30 am the previous morning. We'd been out for 13 hours... I wasn't able to sleep though because I had a medical at 11 am...

MEDICAL

This medical was about an hours drive away from where I lived so I had very little time at home before. I was nearly falling over and felt so ill. The actual medical was for PIP and I don't think it went too well... The woman I saw didn't ask me anything about my Aspergers and kept asking about what happened when I was first diagnosed with MECFS. She also got me to perform different arm and leg movements which we all know has nothing to do with this illness at all so it was a big waste of time. No doubt I'll end up having to go through another appeal process. Having said that, I didn't have to appeal this time for ESA which was a massive relief.

PAST FEW DAYS

I've literally done nothing these past few days. I've been sleeping mainly and I'm still recovering from the all nighter! Hence why I've been very quiet.

OVERALL

Overall, I'm still struggling a bit... I'm not afraid to admit that. I have my mum who is a massive help and I'm a Christian which helps me... but there's a void and that's friends... I have a firm belief that I will meet the right people sooner or later... I've been surrounded by the wrong people for far too long. I've never felt I could be completely myself and it's only this past year where I've felt like I've been a lot more like who I am. It's not going to be easy but patience is a virtue. I'm focusing my attention onto study now, I have an advanced nutrition course and a theology course too that I need to get stuck into. I also have a singing exam this summer so I need to get practicing for that!

Hope this all makes sense and I'll try not to leave it as long next time before I next post!

Barry

Thought-provoking problems. What's to come?

Hello everyone, a little soon to be posting after my previous post but I'm going to go into a little more detail here. I also would appreciate others thoughts regarding their own experiences after I've written this entry.

A lot of you will know it's been a tough time for me. My great great aunt passed on Friday which was sad. I also lost my remaining 2 girl rats who were very special to me. I've mentioned before a few times about losing someone I love so I don't need to say any more on that matter. I feel I've been treated unfairly after all I've done but rather than hate, I pray because I know they have a lot of issues going on. Then there's the usual frustrations which were playing on my mind as I realised I was a year older last Wednesday when I turned 24!

So regarding my aunts death, we (my mum and brother) were present as she died. She was unconscious when we got there and it was a strange experience as I'd never been present at something like that before. We didn't see her that often but we were the only family that visited. The night before Gracie (rat) was put to sleep and the same night as my aunt dying, Mags (rat) was put to sleep. I needed to rest on Saturday but ended up visiting the nursing home where my aunt was to sort her room. I needed to rest Sunday but was on the rota to help out with the young kids. It went well and I enjoyed it like I always do, but still no rest. Monday is here now and it's been relatively quiet, the funeral has been arranged and everything is going smoothly though tomorrow I'm driving out of town to register her death before the funeral next Tuesday. I had to get a shower today as I hadn't had 1 in 4 days, my skin starts to go very dry and irritable. It took a lot of effort but it needed to be done.

I also mentioned at some point that my GP wouldn't give me any more pain relief. She would, but she'd only put me back on what already didn't work for me. She needs 3 weeks to get a letter from my OT (who discharged me) which says I should be referred to a pain clinic. However, there's lots of forms to be filled out too totally unrelated to that. My ESA medical is coming up at the end of the month and the PIP forms need to be filled out. I'm sure there's more but I can't think at the minute. My doctor knows nothing about ME and is therefore not very good about the illness. She refuses to write support letters too and my OT was the only 1 who would do that.

It's crazy I even have to consider this but it just shows something needs to be done with regards to treatment for this illness. In fact, understanding is a good start which I'm not getting from the GP. She always refers to it as Chronic Fatigue anyway. ME and Chronic Fatigue are different things!!! I don't just get tired, I get pain, immune problems, intense brain fog, sensitivity to light/sound etc. Anyway... and hear me out before coming to conclusions... the thought to hospitalise myself has come to mind. I don't want to self-harm or overdose. I tried that and have overcome very bad depression. The reason I even have to consider this is because I feel trapped with my GP and her refusal to help me. If I overworked myself to the point where the pain was unbearable then maybe I'd be taken more notice of if I ended up in hospital? Of course I couldn't do it at this moment as it would be selfish considering my aunts funeral is coming up. Her local family probably won't be coming and her other nephew said he couldn't come if it was on Monday as he has to wait in for a phone call from age concern regarding food orders... honestly, I am not joking. This is why I'm so close to my mum, the rest of my family are incredibly selfish and don't care... Anyway, with lots of things coming up I could well end up a lot worse anyway which isn't really avoidable. Would the hospital give me pain relief if I was that bad? Well it's debatable, they wouldn't give me crutches when I had severe leg pains a couple of years back. In fact it wouldn't surprise me if they had the audacity to refer me to a psychologist. How can you win? It's not about winning, it's just about getting the right help you need.

Is it also wrong that I have to sort out my own aids to help me function? I'm having to invest in a shower seat, computer software as excessive typing hurts and a kitchen stool because I find it hard standing up when the pasta is boiling. I had to invest in my own walking sticks and crutches, I once had someone come round to the house to give me a walking stick but I was pretty taken aback by his response when he called round. He made no effort to hide the fact he was shocked it was me he came round to see so I just thought why bother.

I know times will get better and I'm wise enough not to do anything stupid, but there are things I really need to think through. A supportive doctor would make all the difference but the question is where do I find 1?

I'm sure a lot of you (most actually) have had these thoughts and it'd be interesting to see if you've had any solutions or if these problems are still wearing you down?

Thanks,

Barry x

A Rambling Speech

Hello everyone... I know we're in the first couple of weeks in April but I'm calling it March's update anyway as I usually struggle with title names for these posts!

First of all, you can see a lot of my recent thoughts expressed in my last video blog:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCJnBTI_q-s

The main theme here is FRUSTRATION!!! With some hurt too...

It's been difficult, I turned 24 a couple of days ago and rather than celebrating, I just wanted to hide in a corner. A few years ago I was hoping to have my own place and being relatively successful in my job. It's just not happened. My health hasn't enabled me to fulfill my ambitions.

I actually wrote a good few lines on something I've briefed over in my last couple of videos but I decided to take it out. I think sometimes it's good to get things off our chest but not when there's a potential backlash. It doesn't matter even if you're right and feel like you need a bit of support, some things aren't worth the stress. All we can do is pray which is what I do a lot of.

I'm sat here in Costa writing this, have been here about an hour but leaving soon. I had a doctors appointment at 8:30am which was a waste of time. I can't really concentrate due to background noise so my writing may be a little disjointed and not as smooth.

I've mentioned before that I was discharged from the hospital as my OT said there was nothing more she could do. She was going to send a report to my GP and ask her to refer me to a pain clinic. The report hasn't arrived at the surgery yet so I've got to wait another few weeks. My GP said she doesn't think they'll see me at the pain clinic as the pain isn't in 1 particular area. I know this isn't true as lots of ME sufferers attend pain clinics. I also asked about going back on my pain relief medication and she gave me just 2 options, the ones I had already been on and another one. I know a lot who are on Tramadol yet she never mentioned that. In fact I don't think she knows anything when it comes to ME. I really need a new GP.

I've tried to push through the fatigue this past week or so. This situation that has been playing on my mind is eating away at me. If the other person knew this they'd probably be shocked. It's hurtful knowing I may never speak to them again when I feel I've done nothing wrong and I've always put them first before my health. Anyway, I'm at the stage where I just want to do things to occupy my mind. I'm not really thinking about the after effects, I'm 24 and I want to start living my life. I've been deprived of my 20's so far. I feel like I need a new start and only my health is stopping me. My ambitions are still the same but I'm getting fed up of all the same surroundings. I'm finding it hard to trust those around me and feel in some ways I need to start from scratch.

I don't go into detail often about my ambitions because I feel embarrassed about saying the same thing over and over. If I know someone isn't really interested then I'll close up and give nothing away.

In some ways I feel broken but others I feel it's just the start. Which one depends on which path I choose to lead. I can't hang around and maybe deserve a little more respect. In some ways I'm discrediting myself.

I've just decided that I have a new title for this post, very random but my mind is always a little random!

Hope you're all well as can be,

God Bless,

Barry x

My typical day!

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to share a picture with you that a friend had shared on facebook. I feel like this picture summarises my life at the moment very well.

Every morning is a massive struggle because I'm exhausted. It's the worst time of day for me. The pain is at its worst and my brain is so foggy that my head keeps dropping.

If I've mustered up enough energy to rise and shine in the morning then I'm dying for a nap come afternoon. Having said that, I'm dying to nap even when I haven't had the energy to rise and shine in the morning.

It's impossible to get through the day without some sort of rest which means it's hard to sleep at night. Even when I'm shattered at night I can't sleep.

This pattern recycles itself daily and although some days are better, the pattern is still there.

I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this which is why I've shared it.

Hope you're all having bearable weeks x

February's update...

Hello everyone, it's been a month since I last updated this so I thought I'd give you a (fairly) brief update. Some of you will have seen my most recent vlog which still managed to be 8 minutes long! If you want to view that then just click the following link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcVZ5ViJA-c

It's nice to have such great support from new friends I've made over the past year, a couple of years ago I felt like no-one listened to me but I've been introduced to some of the nicest people I've ever known, in fact THE nicest! It doesn't always matter how often you see someone in the flesh as long as it's genuine. Anyway, back to the update...

I'm quite foggy so I get my dates and times mixed up a lot but I'll do the best I can...

WRAG

The first thing that comes to mind is the dreaded WRAG group. I mentioned this briefly in the video link above but if you haven't seen that then I'll explain here the situation.

When applying for Employment Support Allowance (which I really don't like doing as I want to be able to work as soon as possible) I had to attend a medical a couple of years back. Obviously I failed as a lot of you will know how irrelevant it is to an illness like ME. This is because they don't take into consideration a lot of things like the after effect to overexertion and how the illness fluctuates a lot and isn't 'visible'. Anyway, I had to attend a tribunal the following December (just over a year ago now) and I won the appeal. When you win the appeal you are placed into 1 of 2 groups. The first 1 is the support group and the second one is WRAG. With WRAG (Work Related Assessment Group) it is mandatory that you have appointments with your adviser who keeps a check on your progress and tries to get you back into work.

The above is fair enough but when my health had worsened, my adviser was still pressurizing me to attend workshops and courses. My Occupational Therapist at the hospital even wrote my adviser a letter explaining how I'm unable to attend anything over an hour long as it was likely to worsen my symptoms (fatigue/pain/brain fog amongst many others). The problem is that my adviser just ignored this letter of support from my OT and continued to pressurize me into attending something so that "she could show her boss that she'd done something with me". She actually said that, which basically means she'll do anything to tick the boxes and doesn't care less about a person's health.

I then had a meeting with my local MP who actually wrote a letter to WRAG before my next appointment which was a couple of weeks ago. This letter was ignored too! In fact as I'm writing this my MP STILL hasn't had a response from them. In short, the letter was asking them why they were trying to send me on these courses when they had a medical report in front of them. I had another letter from my MP last week saying he was still waiting for a reply. It beggars belief... And to add insult to injury, this particular course I was being sent on was a 'Psychological Motivation Course'. Something which is totally irrelevant to me...

So it's an ongoing situation and I'm sure some of you can relate to this.

Stress 

 The second thing that comes to mind is mixed emotions with stress being the biggest one. This is over the past couple of weeks in particular, again I explain in the video about this.

Recently, I've had a few animals who have passed away in quick succession. I've been having very bad luck with my rats. There have been over 10 tumours within the past half year on 6 rats. I'm down to 2 now and 1 of them has cancer which is growing by the day. My giant rabbit Harvey also passed away a couple of weeks ago. It's been quite upsetting as with an illness like this, having animals is a great comfort to me.

Also, I mention that there's been a situation going on which has been on my mind a lot but I wouldn't elaborate. Some of you will know what I'm talking about but the reason I'm mentioning this is because it's added to the stress I've already been experiencing recently. It's a very difficult one and I continue to ask my Christian friends to pray about this as that's the only answer at the moment.

I've also come off my pain relief tablets which I didn't think were working but maybe they were as the pain has been almost unbearable the past few days. It's added to the fatigue as well and I literally cannot do as much as I could even a few weeks ago. I'm fighting against it but sometimes your body just drops and you can't move, I hate being in bed but that's the only place I can get some sort of relief at the moment. I've been managing to get out of the house but it's difficult and public places are a daunting prospect with the big crowds, even the slightest noises can make me feel ill so it's a difficult one.

My OT wants to discharge me next time I see her which is a worry as my GP is of little support to me. I applied to join another surgery near to me but it was deemed not local enough to accept me. My OT is the only person who provides me with support letters but she did say that she's referring me to a pain clinic. The only problem is I'd have to attend for full days which is not possible at the moment.

On a positive note, I got to go and see my biggest musical inspirations ever LIVE. Adam Lambert & Queen were amazing, it took a lot out of me and I couldn't even look at the stage in parts due to the flashing lights but I still thoroughly enjoyed it.

Walking is a massive struggle and I struggled with it that night, the furthest I've walked for months is only a matter of yards. I'm not using my crutch/stick as much but I still can't walk a further distance than I could. I've not even been into my town center for the past year because there's nowhere to park. I'm in the process of applying for blue badge but these things take time.

It's becoming harder to do anything, 1 bit of exercise is too much which upsets me, even a little singing practice. I have a singing teacher but I can't practice half of the time which frustrates me a lot. There's so much I want to do. It's been very difficult getting my latest book done, I planned to have it out a while ago but it's just not been possible. I feel like half of my body is working but the other half has just totally given up and it's a case of balancing the 2 out!

I think I've covered most things here and I hope it isn't too long for you! I'll be sure to come back if I've missed anything out! Thank you all for reading...

Barry x

January's update...

Hello everyone!

I hope you're all having a wonderful weekend...

Thought I'd give you an update as there's been quite a lot been going on this past few weeks. Unfortunately, one of my rats Pumpkin had to go today. The local vets were closed so she had to endure a 25 minute drive wrapped in a towel. After speaking to the vet over the phone yesterday, the problem was what he expected. An infection of the uterus. She was losing blood and was incredibly lethargic. I actually wondered if she'd developed M.E. !!! She didn't appear to be in any pain but she was very weak and had lost quite a lot of weight. She was meant to be going in tomorrow but I felt another day was just too much for her.

Here's a picture of her in the car on the way to the vets this morning, I felt she knew what was going to happen and I'm just glad she spent the last 3 months of her life in a loving home rather than in a pet shop. She was prone to stress and developed scabs over her eyes which disappeared after a week of living here. She will be buried in North Wales like the others wrapped in 1 of my hooded tops. It's always a hard time visiting my Grandad physically with the journey but it's for a good cause...

RIP Pumpkin xxx

She could also have had a small tumour which would have been impossible to find without operating which she clearly wasn't ready for. It brings me onto the next subject which is my other rat Daisy, she had a tumour removed from her throat just a couple of weeks before. She and Pumpkin developed a real bond which was nice to see.

You can see her wound above, such a warrior. She acted completely normal when I picked her up from the vets and she was just so glad to see me. Unfortunately, just 2 days after her op she has developed another tumour which isn't as likely to be cancerous. It's unlikely to be connected so it's a case of keeping a close eye and as soon as it grows there's the possibility of removing it, so hopefully Daisy will be with us for a bit longer! They all had a nice treat when Daisy came home...



















Moving on...

I've been very up and down physically, mentally I've been fine though it doesn't help seeing the headlines in this weeks papers indicating that M.E. sufferers fear exercise. FEAR?! I've been going to the gym since I was 14 years old and became a fully qualified personal trainer. Why on earth would I be scared of going to the gym? I can't physically handle it anymore and for the past 2 years have been trying to find out ways I can incorporate some exercise without worsening my M.E. symptoms! The sad thing is that people believe what they read in the newspapers... it's an ongoing battle but we won't be defeated! I even bought some kettle bells the other day so I could try something new, I wouldn't have been seen dead with the pink ones a couple of years back but now it would be an achievement to get through a workout with them... However I did have my mum in mind when I bought them, I've started her on a diet and she'll be using these very soon... She's lost 3lbs in her first week so it's working!




 
 I've started her (and myself) on the juices. Only 1 a day though as I firmly believe you need lots of solid foods in your daily diet... the juice is very tasty though!




 

















Anyway, mornings have been very hard for me recently. I've been waking up in quite a bit of pain that worsens if I get up and do my stuff like making breakfast and having a shower. I like to keep clean but showering is a real chore and I need a fair amount of rest after having 1. It's been recommended that I purchase a shower stool but my bath is too small so it's not possible. The mornings aren't helped by having 5 cats waiting for me as soon as I enter the kitchen...



I am actually thinking of coming off my painkillers altogether because they just don't seem to be working. I've been on them for a while and I'm on a high dose. I'm experiencing side effects too so I don't think they'd be too much of a loss...

I'm also thinking of changing my doctor because as nice as she is, she admits that she doesn't really have a clue about what M.E. is and I've heard a few people recommend a good doctor at another surgery local to me so that's the next step...

There's also a lot going on with the renewal of my ESA benefits which I don't really like to talk about but I do just to show how hard they make it and basically to put to bed any doubts about whether I'm "faking" it or not.

I've seen the Welfare Rights team and I learned a lot. I won't go into it but my "adviser" at WRAG (Work-related assessment group) could be in a bit of trouble as 1) she told me I couldn't have anyone go to the appointments with me and 2) she totally dismissed a factual report from the hospital telling her I couldn't participate in any activities. Just to add salt to the wounds, she's told me that it's mandatory I attend a "psychological motivational course". How insulting is that?! This is where my local MP is getting involved... it's been needless stress but it's getting sorted.

What else? My book! Wow time is flying... I am making progress but because my health has been up and down it's been hard to be consistent with my writing. I've also discovered a new word... "voxpopping". Basically I've been invited to go and ask the public in the city for their thoughts and blessings. I'm not entirely sure myself but it's something I'm interested in as it's helping to raise awareness. It'll be a little nerve wracking because I'm not the most social guy but then why not?!

I'm also going to a social gathering for a friends birthday, there's going to be a lot there so it's a big deal for me. A few months back I would have said no but I'm determined that I push myself that bit further this year to do more... let's see what my body's capable of and if I've made much progress!

There's lots of little things in the pipeline but as my head has gone very foggy I'll leave the post here. There were a few more pics but I'll share them another time.

Barry x

Life Is Complicated: New Book Announcement!

Hello everyone and a very Happy New Year!

Mine didn't get off to the best start when I woke up just before midday though I must've needed the sleep!

A couple of posts ago I talked about what I wanted to achieve this year so I'm not going to mention my goals in this post.

One thing that is probably a few weeks away from being complete is my new book titled "Life Is Complicated: My journey with Asperger Syndrome". It's been hard writing it but will be very rewarding in the end. I think you'll like it and there's a lot more detail and humour added in. I think too if you're a neutral then you'll most likely prefer reading my 2nd book... that's if you like dry humour!

Here's 10 humorous quotes to keep you amused and these are handpicked from only 3 of the 15 chapters!

"My facial expressions didn't help either. I could have been singing a very up-tempo song but going by my face you'd think I was singing a ballad at a funeral"

"I love numbers but not the number 4"

"Being given ice cream with a spoon already in the bowl was a nightmare"

"Using my fingers as a gun with the thumb acting as a trigger shouting "bang, you're dead" didn't really get my adrenaline going much"

"A little bit of spit flew out of someone's straw when they were messing about and onto Ronald McDonald in the center of my birthday cake"

"It took me a while to grasp but I went the other way and started doing it all the time like a nodding dog. I was lucky I didn't get whiplash"

"If they're wearing a fluffy animal print coat then it might sway me"

"I made a point of shaking hands and then craftily as I saw down I might rub my hand on the chair or my trouser leg"

"People don't know if I'm being serious or not and that's part of the humour. It gives me that get out of jail card if I say something inappropriate"

"At least my forehead won't need ironing out in 20 years time unless I have a major mid-life crisis"

To help get word about about my new book, I'm giving all kindle users a chance to purchase my first book "A New ME" from the 3rd January to the 7th January for FREE. It's available in ALL countries too!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/New-ME-Barry-Evans-ebook/dp/B00L1LIT6E/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420158128&sr=1-1&keywords=a+new+me

Above is the UK link.

http://www.amazon.com/New-ME-Barry-Evans-ebook/dp/B00L1LIT6E/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1420158234&sr=8-2&keywords=a+new+me

Above is the US link.

Oh, and don't forget to share and leave a review!

Thank you.... 3rd January everyone!

Happy New Year!

Barry x